My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
