I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
