u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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