Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Its about making memories worth repressing
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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