$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
