There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
