I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
