How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize