i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The adults are the big ones right?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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