That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
