Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
