so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
