wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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