I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
