I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
