Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
