we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
