forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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