An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
