who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
nutella sex= disaster
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
