Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize