dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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