Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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