He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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