i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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