i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
