i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
