Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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