I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Who died my cat blue again?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
