She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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