She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I will pee on everything he values.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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