This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize