I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize