mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize