i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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