Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
