That's intense
she told me i tasted like america
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
