I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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