that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
