All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
