She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
