when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
