I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
