Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
