yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
