Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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