Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
