My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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