4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
