Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
