Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
