My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
