Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
