Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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