I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
