she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
