i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
