Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
