just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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