so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
