your thong is hanging out like whoa
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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