Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
