In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
