so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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